Silver Linings


This Writers' Strike has been a real drag. We probably won't get any entertaining (read: non-reality) programming on television for awhile, save for a paltry 8 episodes of LOST and continued Colbert Report excellence. People will lose their jobs. Audiences will lose interest. I will have to find some activity to fill up all the time I usually spend in front of the TV.

But there still might be a silver lining to this supreme tragedy. For example, we won't have to be exposed to the 3 or 4 hour long Golden Globes or (probably) the Academy Awards this year!! That includes all of the following:
- No red carpet ass-kissing-fests hosted by Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers, Ryan Seacrest, or some other hyperbolic, vacuous nobody.

- No painfully ill-delivered Bruce Vilanch-style repartee between the presenters of the awards

- No self-congratulatory speeches that go on forever

- No rude orchestral drowning-out of long self-congratulatory speeches

- No pre-show shows or post-show shows on E!, with the usual assortment of fashion critics, lame second-rate comedians, tabloid writers, and celebrity worshipers.
The one thing that I will miss, though, is the "Dead Stars Montage" at the Oscars, which is a consistently touching and tasteful tribute to all the members of the Academy that passed away over the past year. Perhaps they could find a way to produce this sole worthwhile segment -- after all, it doesn't really require writers, just editors and a soundtrack. Hell, I'll do it if you give me a list of all the honorees and couple days in the movie vault.